Happy to Be of Service

“What do you want?”

“I want to make a deal with you.”

Phawin did not know what had come over him, but the moment he got to hold her again, all the desire he had been suppressing came pouring out. He could no longer stop having dirty thoughts about her. Not since yesterday, and not even now.

“Make a deal?” Khwanjai repeated, confused at first. But she was not so innocent that she could not figure out what he meant. “I thought you said we were going to be friends.”

“I’m just asking. If you’re not okay with it, we call the whole thing off and pretend this never happened.”

Phawin said it so smoothly, as if he were well practiced. Maybe even more practiced than he was at his job as a medical device salesman, where he had won top salesperson at his former company for five years in a row.

“How many deals have you made, then?” Khwanjai asked, half sarcastic.

“Well… once or twice. Uh… maybe three times?”

Definitely more than that, Khwanjai thought.

Phawin poured more wine into his own glass, while Khwanjai’s glass was still nearly full.

He had been in friends with benefits relationships several times before. None of them had lasted long, no more than two months, or sometimes just a few meetings before they went their separate ways.

He had met plenty of women. A few sentences were usually enough for him to read them down to the heart, to know which ones would become trouble later.

With Khwanjai, it probably would not be difficult either.

“So what do you say, Khwanjai? Want to try?”

Khwanjai fell silent. She should have refused right away, but instead she hesitated, and the word no became strangely difficult to say.

Seeing her silence, Phawin continued.

“We meet when we’re free. Both of us have to want it. No love, no missing each other, no jealousy, no interfering, no money involved, and it stays a secret.”

All right, Khwanjai thought. She had her answer now.

From this moment on, her path after death was definitely heading straight to hell. A devout, morally upright Buddhist had officially become someone completely consumed by desire.

“If you’re not okay with it, just say you’re not okay.”

“And if I am okay with it, what am I supposed to say?”